i think i have two assholes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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