you guys were way drunker than both of me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
