I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
