my being single is dangerous.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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