are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
