mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
