Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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