Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize