So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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