I feel like abortions should bother me more
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
