I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
