Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
