Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
