Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
