This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
