Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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