I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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