I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have fence marks all over my body
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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