:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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