she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
