I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
