I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
