i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
