yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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