I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You left your underwear on the fireplace
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
