bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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