3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
