hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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