my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
