I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
