Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
