I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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