meet me or not, i'm out of control
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
