I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
