it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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