woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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