at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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