omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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