she looked like the before picture.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
