I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
