i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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