I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
