There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
