It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
