It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize