Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
