But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Someone signed my nipple.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
