oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
