I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
