Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My balls are so social today.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize