To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
