i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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