And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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