Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
