Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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