i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
