My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
