Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
