How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
