i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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