let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
