that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
